My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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