Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
