got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
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