saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
