I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
