ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
a search helicopter?!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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