so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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