I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
