what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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