i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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