there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
