Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
