doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
We have so much sex to catch up on
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
