youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
