thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
