feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
