fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize