I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
