remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
