I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
