Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
