i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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