I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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