I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have aggressive nipples.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
