HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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