It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
