So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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