Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
