This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
