I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
