I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
