Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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