Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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