I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
