I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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