Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
