yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
