i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
