college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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