Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize