i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I wear drunk well.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
