i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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