For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
