Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
