just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
