youre lurking in front of me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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