I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
