I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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