she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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