Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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