i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
