We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
