it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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