OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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