he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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